


Natural 20

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels, Demons, Dungeons & Dragons References, Gen, Humor, Role-Playing Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-12
Updated: 2005-04-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 23:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21418609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Aziraphale invites Crowley to his new hobby.
Kudos: 21





	Natural 20

"My fighter rolls a 15. Hmmm. The goblin is wearing chainmail, which is, er, Armour Class 5 so I hit! Goblins are small aren't they? I don't get to do a D12, do I? All right, I roll - _bugg--_ um. One point of damage. Give me the Pringles. Why is a goblin wearing chainmail, anyway?"

"I want to die."

"No, seriously. How did it get the chainmail? It's your go, hurry up, Crowley."

"Fine. I blast the goblin with hellfire."

"Flamestrike is too high level a spell for your charac-- Oh, that's _very_ mature. That's hilarious, Crowley. Have you any idea how long it took me to paint those figures? Look, the rest of you, er, forget you saw that, all right?"

"Now you've put these losers to sleep how about we discuss the fact that your new hobby is pathetic?"

"You said I should make an effort to meet people."

"People! Not bloody D&D players! If you _must_ play this kind of rubbish, how about you at least play a game that isn't older than these morons? Look, I found this when I went off to buy wine in France."

"_In Nomine Satanis_? No, _thank_ you, Crowley. This does all seem a bit silly, I suppose. Let's just go for a drink."

"I fail my saving throw, I agree, I offer to provide transportation."

" . . . very funny."

**Author's Note:**

> Hastur was extremely miffed when he was taken out of the _Monster Manual_. Every Chaotic Evil PC or NPC who was a devotee of him in a campaign gave him just a little more credit in Hell. Mind you, that whole _Hastur Hastur Hastur_ joke got old really quickly.


End file.
